While Savannah and I were walking hand in hand along the grassy fields of Nuvali going home that night, she suddenly mentioned our house in Cavite out of the blue. She said she missed our old cat Keira, the attic where we used to spend most of our time reading, and her friends from her old school. I asked her if those are the only things she missed because obviously, the kid is feeling nostalgic and emotional. It may be because of the Christmas atmosphere–the cool night air, Christmas songs playing, and all the children we saw laughing with their parents. I smiled and asked her if she’s lonely. She was silent for a moment and finally said “No”.
We walked in silence for a few minutes and I was just gazing at the man-made lake, staring blankly and thinking about a lot of things. And I finally told her that soon, we will have our own house again (we had to leave that house coz it’s full of bad memories and it carries bad luck) We will be happy with no one to bother us, just me, her and ate Zoey and no one else.
I can sense she’s really sad and unhappy. I can see it in her eyes. I have been trying my very best to make my kids really happy and contented with just me by their side. I’ve been coming up with strategies on how to make them tough like me. Teaching them to be objective, be positive, be brave and be independent and responsible. I guess they are learning a lot already. However, despite my futile attempts, I feel like its still not enough. I feel an ache in my heart whenever I see them doing household chores like washing the dishes and cleaning the room. I told them that we’re all independent and we should look out for ourselves coz we cannot rely on anyone. I need to train them that way. If I spoil them and give in to what they want, how can they stand with their own two feet? What if something happens to me and they don’t know how to fend for themselves? They’ll end up being a burden to our relatives and I don’t want that to happen.
In our situation now, we need to be smarter than anyone out there. Some kids their age doesn’t really know the meaning of Independence. I feel so proud of them.
And the funny thing is that no one really messes with the three of us. Seems like people are scared to hurt us.
I told them we are on a journey. We can just enjoy the topsy-turvy ride