Parents see their child with special lenses. In their eyes, their children is the cutest and the smartest. However, it’s important to take off these lenses once in a while. After all, your kids are human, and human makes mistake sometimes as well. Sometimes, your kids disappointed you by acting spoiled, sometimes, they bring home bad grades. When this happens, especially the last part, parents usually freaks out, unable to believe that their kid is actually having trouble with their school when they are so smart.
It’s understandable why as parents, we don’t like to see our child getting bad grades. After all, bad grades is not without consequence. Bad grades can affect your child’s life in three aspects: their future, their social life, and their confidence. Continually getting bad grade means there are fewer opportunity for your child to enter good school for his or her future education.
In their social life, they may get teased by their peers, or worse, get called stupid and bullied. Of course, we don’t want our child to be put into that situation. As a result, this can impact your child’s confidence
What not to do
When you see C or D on their homework and report, you may react instantly. You may frown, sigh, or look at your kid with disapproval. It is okay to do that. It’s normal. However, if you lose your temper immediately and shout at your children, then you should stop that habit.
Parents are allowed to get upset, but getting angry to your child before understanding why he got such bad grade isn’t really effective to ensure your child gets better grade later. It will only upset both of you.
Sometimes, if your child has siblings, you immediately express your displeasure by simple words of ‘your brother never brings home grades this low’ or ‘why can’t you just be more diligent like your sister?’. Don’t do this either, because instead of motivating the child, you may have just crushed his or her confidence brilliantly.
But at the same time, you shouldn’t just say ‘it’s okay’ and ignore the result. Having bad grade for once or twice is okay, but if it continues for a semester, then you should give enough attention to this problem. Bad grades have consequence, we’ve established that. So, when your child brings home bad grades, it’s your job to find out why your child is having a problem and what to do as a parent to help solve that problem.
What to do
1. Find the root of the problem
Many parents simply blame their child’s laziness when they get bad grade. But, is that really the case? While some children do dislike studying, sometimes there are other reasons why their study time isn’t effective. They may have very low tolerance for distraction, or they may have poor eyesight but don’t have any courage to tell you.
To find out why your children got bad grade, you should talk. Sometimes, children don’t know how to express their problem, so you should be patience. And don’t think you can extract the answer just from a one time talk. You can also ask their teacher, if they notice anything in your child’s study habit at school. And, most of all, you should reflect on yourself as well. Have you paid enough attention and spend time aside to help them study?
2. Comfort and motivate the child
Your child is usually already upset enough when they get bad grade without you telling them about it. Tell them that it’s okay for them to make mistake, but also tell them that this shouldn’t continue forever. Tell them why they need to put effort in studying by giving example of various chances they can get in the future with good grade.
Use the chance to motivate them. Later, when they do a good job at studying, emphasize to praise their effort instead of their natural talent. For example, say “You’ve worked hard for this, right? You deserve it,” instead of “I know this is nothing to you, you’re smart!” This way, when your child fail, they’ll think they just don’t put enough effort instead of think that they’re simply too stupid to do it.
3. Get involved with their study
Now, don’t be a parent that only tell their children stuff but never actually help. Get involved with your child’s study time. You can set a certain time in the household to study, and during that time, every household member should either study or work. You can use this time to help your child with studying, like by quizzing them. If you have older kid who doesn’t want to do quizzing with you anymore, use this time to do your own work, like making grocery list or sorting bill or planning household finance.
4. Enlist help
If you find yourself want to help but sadly you can’t dedicate that much time due to work, or If your child still struggle to study even after you’ve help, it’s time to enlist more help.
Tutoring is effective way to provide not only extra study time for your child, but also to give them a chance to learn in a very conducive environment (namely, their own house, with a single teacher that put all of his or her attention at the time to your kid). Tutoring will help them improve their understanding on a subject, as well as providing them enough practice to master the lesson. Finding tutor these days are very easy. You can even do it online. Just don’t forget to screen the candidates and select only the best tutor for your children.
However, don’t expect perfection from your child. It’s normal for them to be good at one subject and bad at another. Every child have different talent and interest. However, it’s your duty as parents to help them pass the minimum required grade for their school, so they won’t have to face the future consequences of someone who neglect their study.